flying high as a kite

[anderssjodin]

Anders watched the boy carefully, his reaction was not one that was to be unexpected, but he needed to remain calm, and Anders didn’t want to have to sedate him. He placed a large hand gently on the boy’s arm. “I need you to stay still Anthony, we can’t have the IVs coming out.” he said gently. He moved his hand, folding his arms over his lap. “ I understand this is a hard thing to hear. But we are going to make sure you have the best medical attention possible. ”

He glanced at Pixel before looking back to Anthony’s face. “ You need to rest. I’m going to give you a bit of time alone. But I’ll be back in half an hour to give you something to put you to sleep. Unless you have any questions now, we’ll bring you into a specialist tomorrow to talk about options, alright?” he said ,getting up from the chair. It was always better he found, to give them sometime to digest things. He’d done what he needed to do and broke the news to the boy, he always thought it was better not to hover around in these situations. Anthony would call on him if and when he wanted to talk about it.[/size]

[Anthony Price]

By this time Anthony's body shook with anger. But he wasn't mad at Pixel like she seemed to think. He had no reason to be mad at her. This was his fault, if anything she should be hating him. He didn't think she fully understood what this meant. This meant that there would be no more S*x. And that he was gonna need help in the bathroom and getting in bed and getting dressed. He was probably gonna need a nurse for all that. How were they supposed to make it through this. He wasn't gonna be able to help her with their baby, he was going to be needing to be taken care of as well and he wasn't going to put that on Pixel. Really she should be angry with him.

Then Anders was talking. He didn't want to stay still and he didn't want to sleep. He didn't feeling like resting. He wanted to ... there were just not words for what he wanted to do but resting was not one of them. And Anders was a stupid ass mother f*cker if he thought he'd be giving Anthony anything to make him sleep. He watched the Doctor stand. Then he was picking up the small pink empty plastic cup and throwing it at Anders head. It was a good thing he wasn't a pitcher or a quarterback cause he missed. But the sentiments behind it stayed. He was angry. "Get out" His words dripped with anger as well. His cold dark blue eyes were fixed on Anders.

[/center]

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel picked her hand up and waved at Anders as he stood up. She felt bad for ignoring the doctor.. But Anthony was upset, no one else mattered. The world could be ending, and she didn't care about anything else. Pixel watched her lover pick up a plastic cup and throw it at the doctor, and she smiled softly. One, because Anthony so totally just stole her move, throwing things was what she did, and two.. Because Anthony's throw was complete sh!t. The level three buried her face into his chest again, mumbling his name into the fabric of his gown, trying not to sound like she was smiling but not sound like she was sad either. She was just mumbling his name, in a lame attempt to make Anthony feel better.

Pixel pulled up the covers and got under them again, snuggling into Anthony. She reached up and ran both hands into her baby's hair. She twirled her finger tips around and around, and she leaned in, kissing along his jaw. "Calm down. You're too gorgeous to look so mean and angry." She whispered in his ear before kissing it softly, pulling back to look in his eyes. Pixel began humming softly. "I'm lost here in this moment.. and time keeps slipping by, and if I could have just one wish, I'd have you by my side. Oh, oh... I miss you... Ohh, Oh... I need you. And I love you more than I did before, and if today I don't see your face nothing's changed, no one else can take your place.. It gets harder every day." She kissed him softly, gripping onto Anthony hand tightly. "Say you love me more than you did before, and I'm sorry it's this way, but I'm coming home, I'll be coming home, and if you ask me I will stay... I will stay." She smiled softly, playing with his hair. "I love you, Anthony.."

[Anthony Price]

Anthony felt her hands move through his hair. He let his eyes close while her hands moved. She told him he was to gorgeous to look so mean and angry. Then she was singing to him. He liked it when she sand. She didn't keep any part of her closed off like he did. She was like an open book and Pixel had no idea he could even play the piano. That made him feel like an even worse boy friend. Just when you thought about it, she was perfect and he was shitty.

After she said she loved him his hands grabbed her wrists and moved them from his hair. "No .. You should hate me right now. I'm the worst boyfriend you could possibly ever have. I've always been bad for you and now I'm even worse for you. You don't deserve this. Taking care of someone who is now pretty much helpless .. You didn't sign on for this and I'm not asking you to stay ... You should hate me this is all my fault" He let go of her hands and looked away from her. All he really wanted to do was cry, but Pixel was watching. And he was almost pretty positive that Pixel had never seen him cry.

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel watched him as he grabbed her wrists and became going on about how he was bad for her, and now that he was going to be in a wheelchair he was even worst for her. It hurt. Anthony was her other half, her soul mate, the missing piece of her. She didn't hate him, she could never hate him. She remember when after she saw Alex back at bad and had somehow stupidly ended up cuddled up in his lap, she'd asked Anthony not to hate her. And he kissed her with so much love that it made her tears dry and it made the world a little bit more of a happier place. She wanted to kiss Anthony like that now, but he didn't seem like he was in the kissing mood. She frowned softly. "Anthony, you're the yin to my yang.. I don't hate you, I adore you.." She reached over again and slid her hand back into his hair. "This isn't your fault, okay? I truthfully don't even think it's Skylars... She couldn't have done this to you on propose.." But as soon as Pixel got her hands on that evil red head the bitch was going down.

She reached out and pulled his face towards her as a sudden, gross and foreign thought entered her mind. "Is this because we can't have S*x? Because I don't care, Anthony.. your heart, your love.. that's what I want from you, I don't need anything else." She took her hands away from his chin and out of his hair, setting her face so she wouldn't burst into angry tears at her next words. "Unless.. You don't want to be in a relationship me.. because love isn't enough for you.. and you want the S*x too.." In which case she wouldn't hate him, but she would gladly let him out of this relationship. But no.. Anthony was different.. better than that. There is no way she could be so wrong about someone whos bed she's been sleeping in for several months... Unless she was a trouble judge of character.

[Anthony Price]

Anthony listened to her speak. She said she didn't hate him. And that this was no ones fault. Not even Skylars. He didn't blame her. He pushed Skylar into the fight. He just kept picking and picking at her. Sure she started the physical part but he participated. And really he had no one to blame for this but himself. And yeah this was partly about S*x. But only because he couldn't give it to her any longer. Not because he wasn't gonna get any.

When she moved his face to look at hers his eyes were full of tears just waiting to fall. "Pixel .. I'm not that shallow. Sure I love making love to you .. but you deserve to have that among other things. You don't deserve to suffer because I fight people ... Skylar told me about you and sitting here all night, and wishing and hoping and praying that I would wake up and be ok. You don't deserve that Pixel. And I'm not ok, I can't give you all the things I promised to give you. I'm worthless" Then the tears rolled down his cheek. He couldn't keep them in any more. He didn't want her to settle for something so broken, when she used to have something that functioned properly. He just didn't want her to resent him.

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel leaned forward when he was done talking, kissing under his eyes and wiping the tears away. Anthony didn't seem to understand... She didn't want the sun or moon, or the stars in the sky, or really any of the things Anthony promised her... She just wanted Anthony. She just wanted to kiss him before she went to sleep every night, and to wake up next to him every day for the rest of her life. She wanted to live in a house with him and their child and have it be their home. Pixel never had a home until she met Anthony, because now.. Anthony was her home. She couldn't just.. break up with her home. It was her home! Pixel sat so that she could pulled Anthony against her chest, and hold him while she played with his hair. He was too gorgeous to cry, too. He was too gorgeous to have anything but a smile on that beautiful face.

Pixel reached over to what she knew was the morphine drip, and turned it up a little. Anthony was going through a lot right now, and he deserved to be high. "I had this best friend... Her name was Samantha. She was my best friend when I was younger.. until I was fourteen, then she moved away. Anyway.. She was deaf.. and I learned sign language for her... I still practice it, sometimes, because it reminds me of her and I miss her. Anyway... I went to her birthday party one year.. and I made a new friend, Anthony.. Her name was Taylor Jackson, and she was in a wheelchair, and she had been for whole life... And while the other kids.. were outside getting these really bad sunburns and playing tag.. I was inside coloring with Taylor." Pixel leaned forward and kissed his head before she went back to playing with his hair. "I love you, Anthony, I promised for better or for worst, remember?" She held her left hand out in front of his face.

[Anthony Price]

Anthony let his head relax into her chest when she shifted. Tears still falling from his eyes. Her hands were still in his hair. He'd always liked the feeling of her fingers in his hair. He wasn't sure why she turned up his morphine drip. But it was going to make him sleepy. That's how he'd gotten addicted to narcotics. He used then to sleep so heavy that he didn't dream. And now she was helping him get high. He did love her. He wished he was better for her.

He swallowed some listening to her tell her story. It was about how she spent the day with a girl in a wheelchair. He thought it was different. A girl in a wheelchair was way different then your boyfriend in a wheelchair. He wasn't going to be able to do anything a father should be able to do with his child, or his wife. She kissed his head then he saw her hand in front of his face. She was asking him if he remembered she promised for better or for worst. He really didn't deserve a girl like her. "I'm sorry Pixel" His voice sounded tired. It was the morphine. It was making him sleepy

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel grabbed the remote for the bed and laid it down, putting a pillow behind her head. She clicked the button on the remote that turned off the light above his bed. Morphine made Anthony sleepy, good to know. That would come in handy whenever he was being... Anthony. She'd have to talk to Anders about keeping him on this thing, it was making her life a lot easier. She kissed his head again. "Don't be sorry... You're wonderful, babe.." Pixel was impressed with herself. She got through Anthony being mad and upset, and calmed him down, and she didn't have to use S*x to do so. "I'm tugging out my hair, I'm pulling at my clothes, I'm trying to keep my cool, I know it shows." She sang to Anthony, for Anthony softly, singing him to sleep. He really had no idea how much she loved him.

She realized something which made her smile. When she sneaked into Anthony's room while he was detoxing, they're falling asleep like this, with his head on her chest. They hadn't had s*x then, they just made out.. and he had kind of stared at her. So their life would be like that from now on. Like when she'd been "not ready for s*x"... She could do this. She didn't need s*x, it was just a nice thing to have. "And I'm feeling nervous... trying to be so perfect, cause I know you're worth it, you're worth this yeah. If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I want to blow you away, be with you every night, am I squeezing you too tight? If I could say what I want to see, I'd want to see you go down on one knee, marry me today. Guess I'm wishing my life away... with these things I'll never say..." Pixel stopped singing for a second, listening to Anthony. She could tell by the way he was breathing that he was asleep. She smiled softly, pulling the cover up to cover him, making a mental note to get her blanket from her room and putting it in here, figuring Anthony would probably stay in the medical wing for another night. She closed her eyes softly, still running her fingers through his soft blonde hair. More sleep couldn't hurt her. And sleeping close to Anthony was one of her favorite things in the world. She slowly tell asleep, much happier than when she'd fallen asleep the night before. They were going to be okay, she was sure of it.

[Anthony Price]

::A few days later::

Anthony had been sleeping a lot lately. He wished all of this stuff happening was a dream. That when he woke up he would be able to walk again. He wished that for Pixel more then he did himself. He wanted her to have the perfect life. She had been being so great about this. He knew it must be hard for her. He really didn't deserve to have a girl as great as her. But he was going to do his best to be something close to what she deserved to have for a husband. He wanted to make things up to her for everything she had done, he just wasn't sure how.

Anthony onpened his eyes. They scanned around the room slightly, truth be told he was tired of the medical wing, he wanted to go back to his dorm, but his first visit with the specialist wasn't so helpful to him they just ran tests and sent him back to the school. They said they'd come back and meet with him when they had further knowledge of what was happening. It was apparent Pixel had went somewhere. It was ok, he didn't want her to coop herself up in the medical wing. He wanted her life to be as normal as before.Her blanket and pillows smelled like her and that was soothing enough for him. He reached over to get his water. But it was just out of his reach. He'd rather have soda but water was what was there. He pushed against the bed trying to extend his reach. He was starting to form some sweat on his forehead. He hated feeling this helpless.

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel frowned as she walked from the library to the medical wing. She'd been to the medical wing so many times she was able to just put herself on auto pilot and go. She thought over her conservation with Liam. She got that he wanted for her to put her anger in the right place, and he wanted her to be all mad at Anthony.. but she was still pretty upset with Skylar, and Liam was going to have to deal with that. If he couldn't manage to deal with it, Pixel would very happily tell him to go eat a d!ck. But still.. Maybe she should tell Anthony she was mad at him.. and she wouldn't yell at him or anything, she would just tell him she was very displeased with his fighting, and if he could stop that would be wonderful. Truth be told, Pixel was expecting Anthony to run over people in his wheelchair when he got mad at them, or do what he did with Anders the other day and throw things at people. Which is why Pixel had picked up five or six books at the library. Ammo for Anthony.

She looked around when she got to the medical wing. It was empty, like it normally was. There wasn't a lot that went on at the school to have any serious injuries, mostly fist fights that turned to bloody noses. She was surprised people didn't sharpen their toothbrushes into shanks and stab people with them. She moved to where Anthony's bed was, where she'd tried her hardest to make it look like his dorm room to him, make him comfortable. She noticed him reaching to get his glass of water, and she dropped her books on the foot of his bed, careful to not hit his foot with it. Even if he couldn't feel it, she didn't want to go leaving bruises on him. She moved and grabbed his glass, handing it to him,then leaning over and kissing his cheek. "Good morning, boo." She smiled at him.

[Anthony Price]

Anthony saw Pixel put the cup of water in his hand. It was just so easy for her. He broke a freaking sweat leaning to get the water, which he'd almost had. That caused him to frown some. He was trying to keep himself from losing his temper. And really he wasn't mad at her. He knew she just wanted to help him. He sat there and just stared at the cup of water in his hand. This was still very much a reality for them.

"I almost had that" His tone wasn't angry, but it wasn't happy either. He just didn't want to be seen as helpless. He was the man in the relationship he was supposed to be taking care of her, instead she was gonna take care of him for the rest of their lives. That wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to her. She was all he could think about. Her and how her life used to be before he ruined it. It was his fault her life was ruined. And he would continue to blame himself for it no matter how much she said everything was ok. So he just continued to stare at the cup of water in his hands.

[Pixel Conner]

She stared at him, frowning. She didn't want to see him sweating over trying to get a fricking glass of water. There were two times Pixel liked seeing Anthony sweat.. One was when he had been on track and he would run and get all winded and sweaty and make Pixel weak at the knees. Two was during and after s*x. But he couldn't do either of those things anymore, so Pixel didn't want to see him sweat. He seemed upset.. defeated even, because she'd helped him, making her frown and feel like crap. She needed to learn to let Anthony learn how to do things. This was their lives now, he needed to know how to do things for himself. Pixel reached over and plucked the cup from his hands, and set it down in the ring of water it had made on the table. There, now he could get himself and feel better. Pixel just wanted Anthony to be happy again.

She moved to the foot of the bed, looking through the books. "I saw this book on airplanes, and I don't know why but it made me think of you, and I thought you might like it so I got it. I also got his Nicolas Sparks book, it's called The Notebook. You don't have to read it, just his love stories make me think of us.." She smiled softy. "Than I got this book of quotes. Then the rest are for you to throw at people when you're mad at them. I figured it was better than a plastic cup." She looked up, and she was smiling, but than it faded. He didn't seem any happier than he had five seconds ago. She frowned. "Am I upsetting you?"

[Anthony Price]

Anthony sighed some when she took his water back from his hands and sat it back down exactly where it had been before she came in. Then she moved and started talking about the books she'd gotten. His eyes stayed fixed on the cup of water. He was mad it was so easy for her to just take a few steps and she could have what ever she wanted. He swallowed some. Then he pulled on the railing closest to the cup of water to shift his weight. Then he pushed on the bed with one hand and reached with the other. He was a little closer this time, just not close enough.

When he heard her speak her last sentence, he quit reaching for the cup of water. His hand went to his face and he rubbed his eyes some. Then wiped some of the sweat off his forehead. He swallowed some. "No I'm just f*cking helpless ok" His tone was a little more agitated now then it was before she took the cup away from him and put it back.

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel sighed. She got onto the bed and crawled towards him. "Baby, I just want you to be happy. What can I do to make you happy? Do you want the cup? I can get you the cup. I'll get you anything you want or need. I love you." She sighed softly, running her hand into his hair. "You're not helpless, baby. People live their whole lives like this, Anthony. There are.. things they make to help people in wheelchairs." She didn't know why she was being punished for this. It was his stupid fault he was in the damn wheelchair, this... was his fault.

She shook her head, taking his face in her hands. "I know this is hard for you, but you're going to have to accept it.. okay? This is your fault this happened, okay? If you hadn't picked the fight.. you wouldn't be like this." She ran her hand down her hand down his chest, then grabbed onto it, grinding her teeth together. "Always picking damn fights... And I get punished for it. One more damn time in isolation, Anthony, and I'm going to f*cking lose my shit. It's like I'm going through this entire damn pregnancy by myself, you realize that, don't you?" She looked up at him. Now was probably not the time to yell at him about being mad about the fight, and upset that he was in a wheelchair, but she didn't care. "It's like your not even there. We get like five damn minutes a day together, Anthony. Are you going to spend them making me feel like shit because you're in a wheelchair?" She frowned more, sounding really sad.