Faster than my bullet [PIXEL]

[williamwilkins]

Liam sat in the library, a text book and binder open in front of him, but his mind was a million miles away. His light blue eyes stared ahead vacantly as he tapped the table with a pen absentmindedly. Skylar was in isolation again, it seemed indefinitely. He wasn’t sure about what happened, the details were sketchy, but it seemed her and that damn Anthony were at it again, and somehow he’d gotten badly hurt. As far as Liam knew, he was still in the hospital wing, and Skylar was trapped away until they let her out.

Anger flooded his system, he’d gotten all of one glimpse of her before she was sent to the iso wing, and the angry looking bruise on her face was more than enough to make him see red. Anthony was lucky he was being kept in the medical wing, because seeing that bruise had riled up Liam’s rage. Not an easy feat, the easy going Brit rarely lost his cool, but he’d lost it now. Next time he saw that asshole, he was getting the ass kicking of a lifetime. The muscles in his arms corded as his hands clenched into fists.[/size]

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel was curled up on the floor, in the middle of one of the rows of books. Anthony was resting, and she left him alone. He needed his rest. She'd be back by the time he woke up. She would always be there to kiss Anthony hello and bye, good morning and goodnight. He was her everything. Well, him and this baby. That she was now going to have to do pretty much everything for by herself.. Pixel had had dreams.. If it was a boy, Anthony would teach it football in their backyard, and if it was a girl.. she and Anthony would have a father/daughter dance at Pixel and Anthony's wedding.. And their wedding.. They were going to stand and say their vows in front of friends and family, and now.. Now all those dreams were ruined. Anthony would never get to give this child a piggy back ride, or teach them how to swim or ride a bike. There were so many things Anthony couldn't do with his child now.. and it was all Skylar's damn fault. That girl was lucky she was protected by the walls of Isolation.

Pixel uncurled herself, and sat up, running her hands over some books. Why the library? Why this row in the library? Because this row in this very library was there she and Anthony first said I love you, and since then.. It's become their special place. When either one of them said "let's go somewhere only we know" this was where they went. She stood up, looking at the clock. She grabbed a book that looked like she might like, and headed to take it out. She could read in the chair beside Anthony's bed until he woke up, instead of holding back tears in the middle of the library. Pixel was walking to the front of the Library when she saw him. Liam Wilkins. The devil spawns boyfriend, and one of Pixel's best friends. But right now, he was an easy target for her anger. She walked straight over to him, snatched his binder up, and threw it against the library wall. She turned to him, gritting her teeth. "This is all her fault! She's ruined my life, you know that, Liam?!"

[williamwilkins]

Liam was brought out of his quiet stewing when someone picked up his binder and threw it violently. Bad idea. As slow as his anger was to rile up, once it was, pretty much all traces of the reasonable guy were gone. He couldn’t beat the tar out of Anthony at that exact moment, but he could find a substitute. His eyes drifted upward, cold and filled with a quiet rage to settle on Pixel. Damn. What he wouldn’t give for her to be some giant beast of a student just looking to cause a fight. Instead she was a small pregnant blonde girl. So much for taking his need to punch someone in the face on a random person.

She was yelling at him, but he wasn’t listening. Calmly he stood and retrieved his binder. He put the papers that had scattered out back inside before placing it back down on the desk. He finally met her angry, defiant eyes, his own narrowed and mirroring her anger. “F*ck off. I am not in the mood Pixel.” he said coldly, sitting back down at the table, flicking a page in his book.

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel watched Liam pick up binder. What the hell was wrong with this boy? He should be hugging her, telling her everything would be okay, and that he was sorry for Skylar. Anthony wasn't mad at Skylar, he was mad at himself, and blamed himself. But that just made Pixel more mad at Skylar, for twisting Anthony's emotions around and making him mad at the completely wrong person. She was an evil, manipulation bitch. Then Pixel heard it, Liam was telling her to f*ck off because he wasn't in the mood. Wasn't in the mood?! Well maybe she wasn't in the mood to have to raise a child by herself, and have to keep reassuring Anthony that she loved him, and him being in a wheelchair wouldn't change that. Or maybe she wasn't in the mood to have to watch the one person she loved more than anyone or anything suffer. It sucked, but she had to deal with it, it didn't matter if she was "in the mood" or not.

"IN THE MOOD?" Pixel grabbed a book from a shelf and whirled around, humming the book at Liam's face. "You selfish, moronic jackass! I don't give one flying f*ck what you are in the mood to deal with, my husband is in a f*cking wheelchair, thanks to your crazy ass girlfriend! Not that you care about me, or Anthony, all you care about is yourself, and that redheaded bitch." Pixel was crying at this point. She yanked Liam's book away from him,and began yanking out pages and throwing them at him. "I hate you. I hate her. I hate my life. I hate that everyone else gets to walk around like nothing f*cking happened and my life... is over." She dropped the book in front of him again. "But I'll just leave you alone, I have to go figure out how to raise a child pretty much by myself, while helping Anthony, and you know, you're 'not in the mood' to deal with me.." She glared at him through tears. On top of everything, it seemed as though her friendship with Liam was over. She rubbed at her eyes as she turned and started walking away.

[williamwilkins]

Liam deftly dodged the book that was hurled at him, he’d had things thrown at him for years, and Pixel, while a sight to behold when she was angry, didn’t have the aim or force his father had. His eyes, like chips of ice regarded her coolly as she screamed at him, his hands clenching into fists. He was sick of this. Sick of being expected to sit and listen like a good little boy while people bad mouthed a girl he was quickly finding himself falling for. He was about to say as much when he paused, Pixel’s words broke through the hard shell anger had built around him. A wheelchair? Anthony was going to be in a wheelchair? What the hell had happened? Sadly, he noted regretfully, his first thought on hearing that was that he wouldn’t be able to beat the crap out of someone in a wheelchair.

That thought was but a passing train, and the anger he felt was now battling inside him with a deep pity for Pixel. He felt for her, as much as he hated Anthony, Pixel loved him. And she was having a child. But she was so damn blind when it came to that asshole. Nothing was ever his fault. Ever. She should be pissed at him, it was no one’s fault but his own that he was in the situation. Maybe Pixel was right, he didn’t give a shit about Anthony. But he did care about Pixel. And Skylar. Where the hell was he supposed to find the balance in that?

Pixel was ripping pages out of a book, throwing them at him before rubbing at her eyes and turning away from him, storming off. His jaw was clenched, and for a second he watched her with the same impassive gaze before he rose from his seat, quickly clearing the distance between them. He put a hand on her shoulder, spinning her around. Pissed as she was, Liam was more than twice her size, and her protests barely registered to him. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight against him in a hug. “ I give a shit about you. And I didn’t know what happened to Anthony. I’m sorry about that for your sake, and will help you if I can ” he dropped his arms from around her and stepped away, his eyes still smoldering with anger. “ But I will not listen to you blame someone else for this. He hit her. She has the bruises to show for it. Whatever happened between them, he wasn’t some passive observer. So I’m not going to listen to you take your anger out on Skylar. If you need to be pissed at someone, be pissed at him. He’s the one who got into a fight.”[/size]

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel stood tense in Liam's arms. She wanted to hug him back, but she was too angry now. When he stepped away and starting talking again, she shook her head at his words. "Dammit, don't you think I know he hit her? It's not like I'm glad he hit her, she just probably deserved it, and he probably deserved the hit she gave him. But what he doesn't deserve, and you may not like him but I hope you'll agree with me here, is so be in a wheelchair." She wiped at her eyes again. She was angry at Anthony, she was livid. Why did he constantly have to get in fights? He needed up in isolation, he got detention, and other random punishments and they limited their time together, along with her medical wing duty and homework it was like.. they barely got time together.

Pixel covered her face with her hands. "If I get mad at him, Liam... it'll end our relationship." There were a lot of times, and a lot of things that had questioned Pixel and Anthony's relationship. Like the fact that he had almost hooked up with one of her friends before they got together, or when Oli had kissed her, or when Alex showed up, but.. This was testing every thread of their last seven or so months together. It was tested the bond they had, it was testing the vows they made to each other. "He thinks I deserve better, that he was bad for me to begin with, and now he's saying stupid crap like he won't be able to give me what he promised me, and that I deserve so much more than him but.. I love him, Liam. I just want to be with him, I don't care about.. anything else as long as I'm with him... But.. I can't get mad at him right now, it'll just reinforce his ideas of he is bad for me, and we'll end up breaking up." She wiped her tears away, look at Liam. "You and Skylar at the only people I can be angry at right now.."

[williamwilkins]

He watched her as she spoke, her eyes leaking tears. “ Of course he doesn’t deserve to be in a wheelchair Pixel, of course it’s horrible. But it’s no one’s damn fault but his own. Accidents happen, and he put himself in the situation that lead him there, not Skylar and certainly not me. ” he sighed a little, running his hand through his hair. Truth was, he wouldn’t be upset if it did end their relationship. Despite all of Pixel’s assertion that Anthony was ‘the one’, Liam wasn’t convinced he was. Anthony was trouble. You only had to meet him once to see that. How long would it take before he had one of his angry temper tantrums towards her? He had anger issues, that there was no doubt, so what happened when Pixel made him angry? Or the baby? No, as far as Liam saw it, it was only a matter of time before he turned that anger on his girlfriend. He definitely wouldn’t lose any sleep if they broke up.

He frowned as she continued to speak, stepping away from her at the last words. He gave his head a small shake. At least Anthony and him agreed on one point. He wasn’t good enough for her, and she could do about a million times better. “ He’s probably got a point Pixel… but that’s beside the point, you love him, fine, but you have every right to be pissed at him. Of course you’re worried, of course you’re upset… but you can be mad too. It’s him who’s messed up your life, no one else. No one forced him into fighting, no one purposely hurt him. Being angry doesn’t change the fact that you love him, and if he doesn’t know that, then he’s more of an idiot than I gave him credit for.” Liam’s shoulder’s squared, as he resisted the urge to wipe away her tears. “ You’re really scared and upset right now, so I’ll let what you said earlier go, and if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be here… but if you think for one second that I’ll let you talk that way about my girlfriend. My girlfriend you’re oh so gallant Anthony punched, then you are wrong. Be angry. But be angry at the right people. I didn’t make him do anything, and Skylar didn’t make him do anything. I care about you a hell of a lot Pixie Sticks… but don’t put me in a position where I’m going to need to choose supporting you or supporting her… because I’ll choose her.” he looked down at her, a small frown on his lips. He felt bad about saying it. But it was either lay it out on the table now, or listen to her rant about Skylar more, which was going to indefinitely put an end to their friendship.[/size]

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel shook her head. "Shut up, Liam." She sat down on the floor, hugging her knees. "If you and Anthony could see him through my eyes..." She shook her head. They didn't see Anthony the way she did. They didn't see the look in his eyes when he told her he loved her. they didn't know, and they'd probably never understand, that no one had never loved Pixel the way or as much as Anthony did. There was no question to his love, she never doubted if there were times where he didn't love her as much. "I've.. never been loved by anyone before, Liam. I mean, not like... Like if I f*ck up, Anthony still loves me. My aunt.. sometimes I think the Alex thing made her think of me differently, and love me less.. Anthony never loves me less, Anthony just.."

Pixel was silent for a little bit longer. "He makes me happy, Liam.. If this were anyone elses baby... I couldn't do it, I would have gotten it taken care of, I would have been selfish and said 'I don't want a baby ruining my life and body' but.. It's Anthony's, and I can't.. I can't get rid of something made from that much love. Come on, Liam. Don't make me explain this to you," She looked up at him. Liam and Pixel were pretty similar. they were both kind of happy people, and they were both with people they were probably bad for them, and would hurt them, even if they didn't mean to hurt them. "If it were Skylar's fault.. and I'm going to say it was at least half her fault because it takes two to be in a fight, Liam, Anthony didn't throw himself over her shoulder... But if it were all her fault, she picked the fight, threw the first punch, and she needed up in a wheelchair, God forbid, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.. and you knew.. that even hinting at her that you were mad at her would end your relationship for good... wouldn't you hide it from her?" Pixel looked up at Liam through teary, pleading eyes. He had to understand. He just f*cking had too. She needed one person to understand.

[williamwilkins]

Liam watched her sink to the ground. He looked down at her; he’d said his part, made it clear that he wasn’t going to listen to her or anyone badmouth Skylar, he wouldn’t be losing face if he comforted her now, would he? Liam sunk down to the ground, kneeling next to Pixel. He put his arms around her, pulling her into another hug, and resting his chin on top of her head. He let out a sigh. I’m not saying he fought with himself… I’m just saying no one forced him to do it…” he trailed off, didn’t really matter, in the grand scheme of things that wasn’t really the most important thing in what she said.

I get it Pixel… I get why you wouldn’t want to say anything to him… but if you are going to be angry, you have to put that anger in the right place. You’re pissed because he makes stupid choices and got himself hurt. Tell him your pissed he makes stupid choices and get’s himself hurt. You have a right to do that. You bottle up your emotions, and it’s not healthy. You have to be honest with him about how you feel. Just because you’re angry at someone, doesn’t negate any feelings of love you have. I’m not saying that you need to go off on him and yell and scream and rant and rave. But you just said you need to be mad at someone…. Yelling at me, or whoever else isn’t going to make you feel better, because that’s not who you’re mad at…[/blue] he sighed again, not sure if he was even making sense. “ If things were reversed, and I was pissed at her, I’d tell her. I’d come right out and say “Skylar, stop getting into dumbass fights that get you hurt. It pisses me off.”…maybe that’s just me. Maybe that’s because I have faith in Skylar’s reaction and know she’s not going to break up with me just because I’m mad at her… but I get why you don’t want to say anything… but you can’t just lash out at everyone, it’s just not healthy Pixel..”[/size]

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel leaned into Liam's chest. She always ended up in a guys arms when she came to the library... Pixel seemed to becoming a little bit of a player. She was silent until her breathing became normally, then she became a motor mouth again. "I don't think just be saying I'm mad at him will make him dump me... I think me saying I'm mad at him will turn ugly, and it'll be a cherry on top of reasons-Pixel-shouldn't-be-with-me sundae for Anthony. He's stupid, and you're stupid if you two think that me and him are the most perfect f*cking couple in the mother flipping world." They fit like two puzzle pieces, and they'd been together far too long to just through their hands up in the air and say "it was fun while it lasted." No.. She and Anthony were made for each other. He was one of the only things that made her happy.

Pixel sighed softly. "I'm sorry for what I said about Skylar. I know I shouldn't judge the girl, and I normally don't judge people like that, but it's hard.. how can you not judge someone harshly when they hurt someone you love? At least I didn't act violently towards her after the first accident," But after this accident she was going to slam Skylar's face into the ground and make the bitch eat dirt. "But.. Just like with Anthony and... me.. She can't go around screaming and punching people all the time and throwing them down stair wells! She's going to end up picking a fight with someone meaner, bigger and stronger than her and get hurt. So.. I'll talk to Anthony and tell him I'm mad about all the fights he's been in... if you talk to her about-" Pixel almost said 'about being a crazy person', but she figured Liam wouldn't like that. "Her need to fight with me husband... I can't handle Anthony getting hurt anymore.. or in isolation... or in detention." She frowned softly, hugging her stomach. This was too much strss on the baby. Pixel smiled softly and grabbed Liam's hand, putting it on her stomach. "Do you feel AMP moving?"

[williamwilkins]

Liam tried not to let a snort of laughter out at her comment about not thinking they were the most perfect couple in the world, that was definitely not a problem. He certainly didn't think they were anywhere near perfect. In fact the opposite was true, he thought they were a horrible couple, though that was mainly to do with the hate on he had for Anthony at the moment, wheelchair or not.

He let out a soft sigh as she spoke. He knew what she was saying had a ring of sense, more than a ring of it, he knew it was true. If someone hurt Tom, or his mother, Skylar, or even Pixel, Liam would loose his mind. Hadn't he been planning on going destroying Anthony, simply for bruising Skylar's face? He couldn't really judge Pixel for not liking Skylar. He just didn't want to hear about it. It seemed like a fair request. His lips quirked into a small smile. She wanted him to tell Skylar to not get into fights? Maybe she was confused about who Skylar was exactly. He could tell her all he wanted, but she wasn't going to stop. It was a part of who she was. Be that as it was, he still nodded his head at her request. It wouldn't do any good, but as far as requests went, it was a small one, and he could grant it. Who knows, maybe by some miracle it would work and Skylar would stop. The thought of things being reversed and her being in bound to a wheelchair made him feel a little nauseous. If by some small chance he could get her to avoid situations that would end up that way, well, that was all the better.

Liam looked at her a little oddly when she pressed his hand to her stomach. He raised an eyebrow, it just felt like a stomach to him. Then there was a small press against his hand, and Liam's face broke out into a smile, “ Yeah, I can feel it... that is so cool” and a little gross if he thought about it, but mostly cool[/size]

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel let go of his hand. He could keep it on her stomach if he wanted, but mostly she just wanted him to feel it. So far the only people that had felt it moving were her and Anthony, and she wanted to share the joy that was Pixel having AMP with the world. "It is cool. It's saying 'hello, Uncle Liam, I love you! In seven months you'll get to hold my tiny baby body in your arms, and you'll look at me and go "Pixel, Anthony, you have the cutest baby in the entire dang world, I'm going to pass out from cuteness now" and then you'll pass out'." Pixel smiled, well aware that she sounded like a crazy person. She was hoping everyone else was well aware that Pixel didn't care if she sounded crazy, AMP was a blessing not only to Pixel and Anthony, but to the whole damn world. And if they didn't see it that way, they didn't deserve to have AMP in their life.

Pixel wrapped her arms around Liam's torso, sighing into his chest as she buried her face into it. "I keep hoping.. that it'll just all be over. Like someone I'll figure out a way to go back in time and sedate the both of them before they had the chance to have a stupid fight. They're both f*cking contortionist with how fast they manage to get their asses on their shoulders." she sighed again, this time in an angry way. "But I keep waking up to the same nightmere.. and I never find a time machine.. and I wish I knew how to pray because I'd pray to hard, and so loud and for so long God would have to do something to shut me up eventually... right?" Pixel looked up at Liam. She didn't want Liam to tell her it didn't work like that, she just.. wanted him to agree with her.

[williamwilkins]

Liam chuckled lightly as she spoke, keeping his hand on her stomach. It was surreal to him, knowing that it was a baby in there. It freaked him out a little, as with many guys, the idea of a child popping out of Pixel was definitely high up on the gross out scale, but at the same time, it was pretty cool that he was feeling the kid kicking around. He tried to remember if his mother had ever let him feel her stomach when Tom was kicking around in there, but couldn’t recall, it was too long ago. He dropped his hand and smiled “ Yes Pixel, your baby will destroy the world with it’s cuteness. Entire nations will tremble and fall to their knees. ” He grinned, he did like the sounds of this whole ‘uncle Liam’ thing though.

He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her head. He wished for her sake that it was possible. Hell, there were plenty of things he would change if he could go back in time. But that was a fantasy that was never going to happen. It would probably be better in the long wrong to just accept how things were. Fate had a funny way of working, and for whatever reason, this was Anthony’s fate. It was best to deal with it. Pixel knew that too, he was sure of it. Praying as much as you want couldn’t change what already happened. But if dreaming that it could helped her get through this, then who was he to tell her otherwise? He nodded his head. “ Sure Pixel… stranger things have happened… it definitely isn’t going to do any harm.”[/size]

[Pixel Conner]

Pixel smiled at Liam's comment. Yes, that's exactly what would happen! Her baby was going to all of the adorable in the world. Big blue eyes, soft blonde hair, adorable little baby fingers and chubby little toes and a tiny little nose and it would smell like baby and be so warm and cuddly. It would have a cute little baby yawn when it was tired, and an adorable smile and cute laugh when someone was playing with it. It would look cute in everything Pixel put it in, and it would do cute little baby things. She didn't want to even imagine what it would be like when it got a little bit older and started walking and crawling. Pixel bet it would be a future mountain climber, and people and furniture would be it's practice. It would be her adorable little monkey.

She nodded when Liam agreed her. Okay, so she'd start praying. Only problem.. She just didn't know how. How exactly did you go about praying? "Hey God, what's crackin'?" Somehow, Pixel didn't think that was how it was suppose to go. And how would she know he was listening? Would he talk back to her? Would a book fall from the shelf and magically highlight the words he wanted her to hear? She didn't know how it worked.. how God worked. She shook her head. She'd ask Frankie later. Frankie would know. Frankie prayed, right? Pixel gave Liam one last squeeze then let him go. "I gotta go get back to Anthony.. I don't like leaving him. He had problems sleeping and stuff and I guess having me.. helps him. I don't understand it, but if the only thing I can do is make him feel better enough to help him sleep, than.. I'm okay with that." She kissed Liam's cheek softly. "I'm sorry for yelling and throwing things..." Liam was a good friend.. he deserved a better friend than her. She stood up. She grabbed her book, then a few more. Anthony might want to read, too. "I'm sorry about.." She pointed at the mess she made of his book.

[williamwilkins]

Liam shook his head when she apologized. “ Don’t worry about it Pixel.. people do stupid things when they are mad… I for one was about to destroy your face when you tossed it… well, before I saw it was you that is.” He smiled, getting to his feet “Just don’t make a habit of it, I have enough trouble keeping up with my homework without having to spend ages reorganizing stuff.” he said good naturedly.

He watched as she grabbed some books, for Anthony he assumed, since Pixel didn’t really strike him as much of a reader. Liam wasn’t much of a reader either, it got boring, and fast. But there were a few books that had kept his attention over the years. He turned and quickly scanned the shelves, searching for the familiar title. He really could care less if Anthony was bored or not, but if he wasn’t bored, maybe he’d manage not to be too depressing and whiny towards Pixel. He smiled when he found what he was looking for, pulling the book out he handed it to Pixel. “ A Game of Thrones… it’s one of the very few books that manages to keep me entertained… should do well for Anthony to read. Lots of battles and blood and intrigue, all the good stuff.” he said before shoving his hands in his pockets. “You take it easy… and if you need to talk, or rant, or cry or whatever after you visit him, you know where to find me.” he nodded.[/size]