Post by alex on Jul 7, 2011 22:44:38 GMT -6
ALEXANDERMARKUSSWIFT
“Well, tell me a little about yourself. What’s your name?”
My name is Alexander Swift. It sounds pretty important right? My mother had just finished one of her rare intellectual bouts, where she likes to pretend to be deep and that her life has more meaning than it really does, when she decided that her son was going to have a name with meaning. At least this is what I've been told. She passed away to early to tell me the story herself. According to my father she ran down to the local book store and browsed it for hours before picking Alexander. It means Defender of the the people you know. If you put the whole thing together I'm a Swift Warlike Defender of man. Makes me sounds pretty bad ass if you ask me.
“Next question, how has your High School career gone thus far?”
Isn't calling education a career a little ridiculous. I mean we're required to be there and we aren't getting paid, so why make it seem like something more than it is. I mean sure it's alright and I've done pretty good for myself, but I wouldn't want to make a career out of minimal effort classes and apathetic authority figures. I would much rather think of high school as a small pit stop on my road to whatever else. I can party it up and enjoy the fine bouquet of lovely ladies now and then by the time I graduate I can get down to business and consider my real career. Being Prom King doesn't give you much swag in real life, no matter how monumental it is in high school
“What did you do when you weren't in school? Any hobbies or sports, anything like that?”
I don't really have any hobbies unless you count hooking up as a hobby. My creative writing teacher told me I should write more, but I've always thought it was a waste of time to sit inside writing about life instead of being outside living it. I guess that might change now. Sports on the other hand I happen to be the king of. I was the starting forward on my high school team. I was the only freshman to ever make the varsity squad. Do you know what that means? It means I'm the shit. Oh, sorry. I mean It means I'm awesome. Ever since I could walk I practically breathed the sport. I feel more comfortable with a basketball in my hands than at any other time.
“Family and friends are pretty important. Tell me about them. How are your relationships with them?”
I don't really have much family.. just my dad. He's pretty cool. Sometimes I feel like he lives out his popularity fantasies vicariously through me, but I don't really mind. Who wouldn't want to live through me, right? My mom died when I was only six and I can't really remember her much. There's a few old pictures of her lining the hallway, but my delightful step mother had most of the prominently displayed ones moved. I guess my step mom would count as family as well, but I don't consider her such. She's just using my father for his status and old money. Not to mention the fact she's much too young for him. I would have probably considered hooking up with her myself if I didn't have to call her mom. As for friends I have a ton at my school and I used to have a girlfriend. I really loved her. She was so tiny and so full of energy and life. She reminded me a little bit of a child with her tantrums and love of cupcakes, but she also made me feel alive. Unfortunately for me, she was crazy. I mean really. Who ties someone to a bed and tries to kill them with a baseball bat. WHO DOES THAT? Sure maybe "cheating" is wrong if you want to call it that. I was only 16 though! I can't fully commit myself to one woman. It would be unfair to deny the rest of the female population my company.
“Thank you for sharing that with me. So those are your family and friends, what about yourself? Describe yourself to me.”
What is there to describe really? I mean you're looking at me, right? I have brown semi-wavy hair and brown eyes. The ladies tell me they're like warm chocolate which I take to be a good thing because who doesn't love chocolate? I'm about 6'1 and I have a killer set of abs. I never quite got the muscles I wanted, but I'm stronger than I look trust me. I once lifted the heaviest girl in our class in a bear hug. My love knows no bounds. I love women of all shapes and sizes and they love me. I have a few scars from the brutal beating I took, but I think they make me look manlier. Practically like badges or honor after my vicious assault. Other than that I'm just your above average looking teenage boy. Nothing special.
“Other then the reason your here, at Blackwood Academy, have you had any other issues with law enforcement?”
As I've said before my dad is old money. The law enforcement in these parts practically worship our family and their charitable donations towards crime scene technology and fancified cars. I never would have even been convicted of these stupid chargers had Sarah's parents not insisted on petitioning for a different court.
“What is the worst thing you’ve done? Why did you feel the need to do that?”
Well, there's nothing I've ever done that I really regret or consider all that bad, but I guess from an outsiders point of view you could say that time me and my basketball buddies haunted our crabby chemistry teachers house for a week would probably be the worst. We were just joking around making sounds in the window and shorting out her door bell so it seemed like someone was ringing when there was no on there, but she wound up quitting her job and checking herself into an asylum after a severe nervous break down. I would have felt worse if it hadn't been so damn funny. I mean darn. Excuse my language, ma'am.
"What the one things you're most proud of?"
I've honestly down so many great things it's hard to pinpoint on moment as the best. If I absolutely had to pick one though I would say it was my SAT scores. You see everyone thinks I'm just a dumb slut who only knows who to toss a ball around, but I studied my ass off to be able to get into the college my dad went to and when I finally got my score back I scored 400 points over the minimum. I don't think I've ever seen my dad look at me with more love in his eyes. I know that's kind of cheesy, but I love my dad, you know. He's really all I've got.
"Other then your trouble with law enforcement, do you have any vices or addictions?"
I'm not sure if you would call this a vice.. it's kind of hard to explain really. I have this undeniable urge to please woman. It's like I can't not be with them. It doesn't matter if they're fat or skinny, dumb or smart, funny or boring as hell.. it's like I'm addicted to women. If one comes on to me I'm practically helpless to do anything but turn on the charm and fulfill whatever fantasy she has. That's another thing It's like I have all these different parts of me that different women have created. I have this compulsive need to be what people expect of me. I once found myself swearing up and down that I was a mast line dancer when I don't even own a pair of boots. I'm not sure where the lies or the need to make out comes from, but they're my only vices. Alcohol is stupid and drugs and cigarettes are too expensive. The women in my life are more than enough of an expense for me.
“If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?”
I would be at home watching a college basketball game with my dad not in a dingy room being interviewed for a school I don't even want to attend.
“What criminal act got you sent here and who recommended it?”
I don't know what you've heard, but let me start off by saying this is the most ridiculous crime ever. Okay so you know how I'm kind of hot stuff with the ladies right? Well apparently the freshman girls decide to get drunk at a party and they think it'll be really cute to send the basketball star sexy pictures of themselves. Well, what am I supposed to do when sexy, albeit minor, women send naked pictures of themselves to me?! Of course I keep them. It's not like I asked for them, but hey you don't complain about a good thing. Well, little did I know that Sarah McCafferty's mother, that's the girl who ruined my life fyi, would take her phone and browse through her message. Mrs. McCafferty tells the school board and the school board confiscates my phone and sees the pictures. The principal tries to explain to the crazy lady that it's just a youthful misunderstanding, but no SHE TAKES ME TO COURT! She charges me with watching and distributing child pornography! Can you believe that? Her own daughter gets charged with nothing! Apparently I harassed her into sending the picture when I had never even talked to her once and now I'm stuck here because the judge refused to stick me in jail like Sarah's mother wanted.
“Do think that you deserve to be here?”
No effing way. This is ridiculous. I happen to be an innocent man. Now I'm going to be stuck in a dreary school full of criminals who probably can't even play basketball. Do you know what that means/ All of my hard work is out of the window! I actually STUDIED for my SAT and now I'm never going to be able to go to a good college because of a stupid criminal record. It sucks.
"Tell me about your life before Blackwood Academy contacted you, what led up to your stay here."
Well, I guess it all started with Pixel. She was the first girl I ever really loved, you know. It may seem like I was a jerk to her by cheating and stuff, but I genuinely liked her. I can't help the fact that other girls want me to and she couldn't accept that. Anyways after she went all crazy and everything I started getting even more attention from the girls in my school they all sympathized with me being the victim of an attack and all and so more and more of them started throwing themselves at me. This only made me more popular with the guys because I mean hey, who wouldn't want ladies fawning all over them?
It was a vicious cycle that led to me being even more of an idol at my school than I already was. My step dad was proud of my test scores and my basketball prowess so he had pretty much lightened up on me completely allowing me a free reign. I think that was part of my problem. I had so much time that I almost had no choice but to hook up with two or three women a day. I was going through condoms and chapstick like nobody's business. Everyone wanted a piece of me and they didn't even care that they were sharing with most of the female population at our school. Unfortunately, the karma gods did. If I hadn't been so popular and hot those freshman girls would have ruined some other popular boys life, not mine. I would have been free to enjoy my debauchery until at least college was over at which point I would have settled down with a nice girl and attempted not to have affairs. I had a plan! Now all I have is a record as a S*x Offender. I'll be in the database until I'm 18.
Swift, Alex M:
Race: White
DOB and Age: March 1, 17
Age admitted to Blackwood’s Academy: 17, a few weeks
Grade: 11th
Health issues: Does being too sexy count? Ha, just kidding. I'm the picture of health.
Other: I think a lot of his arrogance is going to fade when he's in BAD for a while and he's going to explore his writing and become a little more humane over time. Until then, his cockiness shall be fun.
Race: White
DOB and Age: March 1, 17
Age admitted to Blackwood’s Academy: 17, a few weeks
Grade: 11th
Health issues: Does being too sexy count? Ha, just kidding. I'm the picture of health.
Other: I think a lot of his arrogance is going to fade when he's in BAD for a while and he's going to explore his writing and become a little more humane over time. Until then, his cockiness shall be fun.
Your name: Chris
How you found us: ADMIN EDIT
Code word in the Rules: Unicorn
Play by: Adam Brody
This Application was created by JEZ! A.K.A Two.Last Words. Do not steal or remove credit. Or I will sick my doggy Drako on you. He enjoys biting the butts of others so BEWARE!
